When the rug was pulled from under me – Sarah’s story
The date was 14 Feb 2010, time 14:05 – he told me he’d had an affair.
I know that date and time it is etched in my mind.
My first thoughts were WHAT THE F…?
And who with? Bearing in mind at the time, he was working on an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean.
Turns out, it was the purchasing manager.
I gave him an ultimatum and said he had to make his mind up who he wanted to be with – her or me, his wife of over 20 years.
I should have known then that things would never be the same again.
But I loved him for better for worse, for richer for poorer.
Unfortunately he fell foul on the ‘forsaking all others’.
I said I would support him and we would get through this.
A decision had to be made
Move on a couple of years, and we were not getting on.
All emotion and affection from him had gone.
I lost weight.
I tried to be the person he wanted me to be but I knew deep down I wasn’t happy and I knew I would have to move on.
” Should I stay or should I go? ” – The Clash 2012
There was a ‘slight’ issue – I was living overseas at the time, had given up my career twice for him, was out of the work scene and most importantly I had a horse who was my rock – and the love of my life.
So what should I do?
I had always enjoyed keeping fit and, in a light bulb moment jogging along the beach, I decided to become a personal trainer for women over 50, going through the menopause, getting over cancer and generally wanting to help women feel more positive about themselves from the inside out.
The next stage was to arrange for my horse to come back to the UK with me. He was far more important than any furniture or belongings.
So first job was to get his passport, and then the vaccinations he needed before going into quarantine.
When I had to start using those little grey cells again
In the meantime, I had booked on to a personal trainers’ course, starting a week after I arrived back in the UK, in Surrey.
With books galore on the human anatomy, I started my course.
I am not going to lie, it was hard.
Having to learn about things again and using my brain, took time.
But to cut a long story short I passed and got a job at a UK-wide gym chain, which gave me a spring in my step again.
As part of my personal trainer role, I took up teaching spin.
At the time I sweated a lot at the end of each class was a pool of water.
Looking back, I now realise it was a combination of serious exercise and hot flushes, for sure.
My horse Tuxedo – arrived from his journey from half way around the globe. When he clip-clopped out of the horse box, I cried feeling a huge sense of relief, happiness and love knowing that things were now going to be okay because I had Tux back by my side.
(my 50th birthday)
The sunshine and sunflowers reappeared
A lot has happened since 2010:
I’ve moved a few times overseas and back again. I’ve had some interesting jobs and dated some interesting men!
It hasn’t always been a bed of roses, there have been dark times.
I have cried a river.
I have doubted myself.
But deep down I knew that the sunshine and sunflowers would reappear again – and they did.
I’m now living in the most beautiful place surrounded by mountains and lakes.
Unfortunately my beautiful horse Tuxedo passed a couple of years ago, but how lucky and honoured was I to have had him in my life. He was a rescue horse, but in the end he rescued me.
I have found my Shangri-la, the happiness I have is from within me.
I will always be okay as I have ‘Sarah’.
Remember you have you and that’s all you need.
I have let my baggage of rocks go and I am now so content. But I have roared loudly many times, that I can promise you.
Sunflowers are my favorite flower, I always have them at home, as they bring a smile to my face and remind me that all is really, really good around the corner.
Sarah, 62. Scotland
